May 16, 2021

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“ I’m so bored with having vanilla sex with my husband but find it hard to talk to him. ” – Colin Nolan


Dear Colleen, I am a woman in my forties and I feel frustrated when it comes to having sex with my husband.

I love him and still fantasize about him like crazy, but sex is so routine and I want more.

I feel like something is missing, but I find it difficult to bring it up with it.

I guess we’re getting lazy – sex isn’t high on the agenda anymore, and we usually do it late at night when we’re tired, so it doesn’t put a lot of effort into it.

What can I do to improve it?

What is your opinion? Share your opinion in the comments section



Colin Nolan is the Mirror's Resident Aunt
Colin Nolan is the Mirror’s Resident Aunt

I don’t want to be near him anywhere now.

I want him to leave for awhile so I can get my head straight, but he doesn’t. Where do I go from here?

Colin says

It is often more difficult to talk about sex with the person closest to you, but I think it is important to overcome the embarrassment of asking what you want.

It doesn’t have to be a serious sit-down conversation, but when you’re on for one night, just tell your husband that you are a bit concerned that sex is slipping off the agenda.



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Say it might be a good idea to talk about ways to make it more of a priority.

This should open up a discussion and you can talk more about what you want.

Also, telling him in bed what turns you on and what you want him to do can be really exciting.

Create a Chance for Better Sex – Go to bed early instead of staying up late on Netflix.

I don’t know if you have children, but if you are alone at home, you don’t have to make love limited to the bedroom.

Think about what sex was like when you first got together and try to recreate some of these movements. And have fun!